Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I've been going to therapy for years. Sometimes, I wish I started sooner. Other times, I wish I never step foot on this path at all. After all, ignorance is bliss, no? Gone are the days when I lived a more “carefree life” due to my lack of self-awareness.
Now, I have met myself at a deeper level, and there's really no going back. The only way is forward, and I hope to continue embarking on this healing journey no matter how challenging times may become. I can only aspire to live my life intentionally, not guided by my past or "what happened to me" but by who I am now and strive to become.
As someone fully invested in their personal growth, I am actively working on embracing my past and constructing my present self. I’m celebrating my growth, progress, strength, courage and resilience every step of the way. I refuse to fall into the trap of being a victim and prisoner of my past. My mission is to break the cycle of generational trauma and heal my childhood wounds so they won’t bleed into my decisions and lifestyle as an adult today.
Therapy has taught me so many things about myself, including identifying my thought patterns, processing my emotions, making sense of my past, accepting my present, and having clarity for my future. And working with the right therapist makes a huge difference in your journey.
Over the years, I have worked with over ten different therapists and found that finding a long-term match is a process. It can take time to figure out if this person is someone you feel emotionally safe to open up to and isn’t biased or judgemental but helpful and supportive. Affordability is another factor, along with other expectations you have for your collaborative sessions together. I kid you not; seeking the right therapist was similar to my process of finding a compatible partner through online dating.
The good news is that once you know what you want in a therapist and what you’re seeking from your therapy sessions, your search becomes easier. Some therapists offer free consultations, providing the opportunity to ask questions and evaluate the connection. Alternatively, you can schedule a session or two to understand further your therapist’s working style and how well you both work together.
Below are some of the questions I asked during my consultation calls that you can lead with:
My goals are _____. How do you approach this? How will you work with me?
How frequently will we meet? How will we meet? (phone call, video chat, in-person)
Do you accept insurance? Do you offer a low-cost or sliding scale rate?
How will we track my progress? Will I receive assignments or resources to work on between sessions?
Do you have experience with (insert your focus, e.g. inner child work, co-dependency, and avoidant behaviours)?
How can I reach you between sessions?
What will I do if I feel stuck in therapy?
How can you tell if someone can benefit more from therapy or life coaching?
These questions helped me assess my therapists’ expertise, qualifications, work approach, availability, affordability, and overall character.
Additionally, researching various therapy providers and organizations aided my search. Currently, I am working with a therapist who meets my emotional and financial needs, accommodates my schedule, and provides direct, constructive feedback, which I highly value in my sessions.
Remember, your healing journey will not be linear, and it will likely bring up a lot of triggers and discomfort, but commend yourself for being committed to your mental, emotional and physical health by doing the work. Therapy is just one avenue to improve the quality of your life, so go easy on yourself and keep up the good effort!