Photo by Fernando @cferdo on Unsplash
Do you often find yourself mentally and emotionally exhausted at night, with your mind full of intrusive thoughts? Many of us experience prolonged anxiety, depression and other mental health conditions that impact us on a daily basis.
According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental illness in any given year. However, we often stray away from openly talking about our mental health due to the preconceived stigmas surrounding it. Although many of us appear normal in public, we’re the only ones aware of the internal struggles we endure. We need to remember that no problem is too small of a problem to seek professional help.
When I began short-term counselling sessions with a psychotherapist, her approach working with me was cognitive behavioural therapy (or “CBT”). CBT is a common type of talk therapy where you unpack negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs with your therapist. After a couple of sessions, I notice a significant shift in my mindset and lifestyle overall.
Here are some things you should know about therapy if you are considering it:
Seek help when you need it. It’s not shameful.
Shift your perspective when it comes to seeking professional help. Many people today are suffering from different mental illnesses, and are seeking help with mental health professionals. If the issue is affecting your overall health, address it as soon as possible so your overall stress doesn’t build up. Sometimes, your best bet is to lean on your support system by calling someone you trust or be proactive by doing hobbies that redirect you towards a healthier state of mind. If the issues are more prolonged and severe— consider seeing a licensed professional for a number of sessions. You don’t have to deal with this alone.
Therapy is a safe space to talk about your problems.
Sometimes, it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know about your problems. A trained and experienced mental health professional can assist you with coping strategies and provide insights that aren’t biased. The sessions are a judgment-free zone and highly confidential for you to dig deep and have honest conversations with your therapist. Think of your sessions as a sacred ‘me time’ to uncover your internal thoughts.
Be open-minded to receive constructive feedback.
It’s intimidating to attend therapy, even if you are extremely vulnerable. Therapy will involve sharing some of your fears, insecurities, past wounds or traumas and personal details of your life. You will also be asked questions that may challenge or trigger you in some areas as well. Moreover, therapy may provide constructive feedback that can be difficult for you to process. Stay open-minded and check in with yourself if what they share sits well with you. Generally, they will not tell you what to do but guide you in better understanding yourself and how to manage your emotions and thoughts around the obstacles you face.
Face your fears head-on and set intentions.
Working on yourself is brave work. It’s not easy to sit with discomfort and have these difficult conversations. It’s normal to feel a range of emotions during your sessions such as sadness, relief and nervousness. However, remember to give yourself credit for facing your fears and conflicts head-on. Also, make sure you attend each session prepared with questions and topics of discussion to stay organized and make the most of it. If you share your goals and expectations with your therapist early on, you’ll definitely see more results.
It’s all about perception. Progress over perfection.
While you are doing the work and applying what you learn in your life, you may not feel like you are making much progress. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as the process will take time. You might feel triggered by certain situations, but acknowledge that you are doing the best you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself and be proud of the progress you do make. Over time, these small actions will add up. You are already on a journey of becoming a better version of yourself!
Heal yourself by reframing negative thoughts.
My experience with CBT was effective because my distorted thoughts were the cause of my negative feelings (and therefore behaviours), which ultimately affected how I perceived the world and responded to it. My therapist educated me on the various types of cognitive distortions and we went over each situation I had along with my thoughts and feelings surrounding them. She shared resources and provided me with homework to do in between our sessions, which I found to be helpful. I was able to identify the different types of thoughts I had and reframe them into more positive and actionable ones.
It’s okay if it’s not right for you.
The first therapist that I had actually wasn’t of much help. My sessions weren’t constructive and it simply wasn’t a good fit. Scheduling in-person appointments were also difficult due to her busy schedule. Luckily, we always have the option for online therapy, which works better for some people due to convenience, frequency and affordability.
It’s okay to seek a new therapist if you feel emotionally unsafe working with them. When you are searching for a therapist, ask if they offer a free consultation and go in prepared with questions on how you will be working together!
There are many organizations that offer free or affordable therapy that you can try. Check if you have work benefits that cover therapy. Ultimately, it’s up to you to invest in yourself and do the work. Of course, there are plenty of other resources for you to prioritize your personal growth and wellbeing if therapy isn’t working for you at this time. Therapy is one tool to support you.
Mental Health Resources:
Originally published at TalentEgg.